Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Things We Do For Love

The curtain opens on a dark and chilly evening with a harried mother scurrying through the big box store, her 5th store of the evening, in search of Halloween stuff for her children. She had mere hours before she left town on a business trip, hadn't packed a stitch of clothing, and scrambled at her only chance to do her motherly Halloween duties. Party snacks! Costumes!
Her mission, should she choose to accept it: For Aggie, something scary. For Lily, a witch costume with broom. Again. For Sam, nada. Zip. Which his mother couldn't understand because pre-teen Trick-Or-Treating was a highlight of her younger years, but whatev, as the kids say.

Behold her texts to her awaiting children*:
*I'm not sure if this is the same for everyone, but "j" in our family is our text code for any sort of "affirmative."

Me: u want costume? nanny said she’ll bring stuff for u to dress as a doctor. let me know.
Sam: naaaa no thanks
Me: ah ya party pooper!
Sam: aww come on!
Me: pooper!
Sam: unpooper!
Me: makes it look like theres a fat disgusting monster w arms and legs on you shoulders

Me: eh?
Sam: aggie said ya she wants to know if shes going to get a costume
Me: well i could get a cape. Or I could get a different mask which makes a complete zombie or werewolf?
Me: or a skull mask and cape?

Sam: aggie wants pics of the full zombie and werewolf if possible
Me: theyre kind of lame. But ok. R u sure you don’t want one? after i send pics tell her to hurry and pick cuz I need to get home.
Me: not too bad i guess

(unfortunately I don't have the werewolf costume picture.)

Sam:no thanks again. j
Sam:aggie wants the fat ugly monster on the shoulders
Me: for sure? cape or not? or jusr some pplain black cothes would prob be better
Sam: aggie says she wants the cape
Me: grrrrr. Ok :)
Sam: aggie wants to know if she can get both
Me: GRRRRRrrrrrr. i’ll try
Sam:aggie says GRRRrrrr
Me: j

Arms overflowing, the mother heads to her 3rd incompetent checker in an attempt to escape the big box Halloween hell, uncharacteristically snags a little bag of the Cheetos that turn you mouth blue when you eat them (a gross treat for the children that just made her costume shop via text for half an hour,) and returned home triumphant!
And scene.


honeypiehorse said...

WHat? Don't you sew your own costumes? ;-)

Sara said...

LOL Sounds fun! 5 stores is a lot. I'm tired after 2. Where is the pictures of the kids in costume?

Amy said...

You and Sam are so cute with your text messages! And YOU are a stellar mom to brave those party stores at the 11th hour.

Becky said...

No joke! I would have been like, "Ghosts all around!" LOL. Was Aggie happy with that ugly shoulder monster?

And aren't you glad you let Sam get a phone??

Michele Renee said...

Isn't it amazing how one of our jobs is personal shopper? It sounds like it was a great time and bonding session over the phone. Hope you made it thru the trip fine.
Fortunately I work near stores and recently I bought my two oldest about 14 pairs of jeans so that they can each pick out two each perhaps. I brought them home, had them strip to their boxers and (they wear the same size) try them on one at a time. The no's went into the reject pile. Hubs thinks I am crazy but I reminded him how it is so much better than having them try stuff on at a store.

Emily said...

I totally want to borrow that mask. Don't let it get lost. Better yet, I'll store it at my house. j
btw. my hat is off to you m'lady. You are super surance mom.

Sara said...

honeypiehorse, you KNOW I do! lol. You should've seen the cardboard suit of chainmail I made one year for the knight costume. So underappreciated.

Sara, color me embarassed for not one single photo of my children in their garb. Maybe grandma got some?

Amy, it's like I get to see a whole other side of the kids when we communicate via text. It's pretty neat.
So, yup, Becky. Still glad about the phone!

Michelle Renee, I have totally thought about the Personal Shopper aspect!! I mean, when they say get me bagels, I get bagels. I don't even think about it! They're living the life. ;)

Um, whatchawanna do with that mask? Ag said that all the boys were trying to trade her for it, but the girls were less than impressed. But I imagine she'll loan it out. J.