Friday, January 22, 2010

For The TV Tells Me So

I don't get to watch a whole lot of TV. Aw, listen to me, "get to." I just don't make a big effort to watch, except maybe on lazy Sunday mornings when the Loonie Tunes are exceptional.

Or maybe it's because I get the remote control all jacked up like last night and can't watch TV.

But the past couple of days I've been a little mental so I was drowning my sorrow in the idiot box and I caught most of Modern Family, which was funny. Especially because there was a bit about a wife smashing the remote control out of frustration. Boy, did I relate to that last night. I was like an ape mashing the buttons. 2 remotes going at once. The 3rd remote that I didn't try was naturally the one I needed.

Since I was starting to pop blood vessels and about to tear up (ya, one of those days) I gave up, grabbed a book, and laid it next to me while a took a nap. Problem solved!

Mark eventually came in and fixed it in about 3 seconds. And I got that crackhead rush when the picture came back on the screen. Sad, but true.

Then I learned some stuff.

The channel that popped up first was a religious channel. They were having a telethon and I got sucked in by their shopping network smiles. There was a middle aged man, typical enough, and a pretty 20-something gal who simply would not stop smiling. Whether she was speaking or not, that intense (and to me, painful looking) smile never left. I imagined that she was very relieved when the camera switched to the next pair of folks urging me to send money.

And I kept listening and watching the way you watch those shows about morbidly obese people or drug addicts or Cops. I kept wondering what those people are like in real life. Wondering how they felt about what they were doing. They never really specified what the contribution was for and I wondered if anyone watching noticed that.

So they were pushing and pushing, specifically for $1,000 gifts at that time. $1,000! And I was thinking about all the little old ladies and lonely folks getting caught up in the hype (and guilt,) just wanting to talk to someone, so they call and give money they don't have. Then, what made me so mad that I finally turned it off, was when one of the auctioneers basically said, even if you don't have that thousand dollars, give in faith that you're going to get it. And they had all sorts of scriptures to twist in support of it, of course.

Now I'm not knocking faith. Or scriptures. At all. But how irresponsible is that? Folks living on food from the dollar store giving all their money to these cheeseballs in the name of faith. So wrong. So creepy.

So there was that fiscal lesson. Then I got another nugget of wisdom from this bank's commercial.

A creamy, dreamy voice over is talking about saving money, blah blah, how they're going to help you do it with their plastic card.

All the while, pretty mom is in the convenience store! buying giant, brightly colored beverages for herself and her children with the friendly plastic card.

In other words, No, it's not cutting back on stupid unnecessary purchases like overpriced crap drinks at the gas station that will save you money; it's the card, the card. It will save the money for you. You just keep buying 15 bucks worth of crap every time you leave the house. Sigh!

And then I watched New Lawyer Drama, which was pretty good but for the fact that everybody has sex with everybody and cheats on each other and it's no big whoop. Really? It adds nothing to the story (for me, guess I'm a prude?) and just seems a little silly. I did like how pretty everybody was and the bright and shiny lighting. Plus Deb from Napoleon Dynamite is in it.

And finally I watched Old Medical Drama with all the Mc-eamy doctors. Never really watched it before. I could do without the dank lighting, terrible makeup (is that on purpose?,) everyone being a dick to each other all the time, and...everybody having sex with everybody. Really? With whom would this arrangement be OK in real life? I'll admit though, I watched it through to the end. So, you win! TV drama. You win.

And that's the story of what happened when I peeked out from under my rock and watched current TV instead of old Newhart reruns. And my apologies if this is a little cranky.

Hey, here's how we'll end on a sweet note: It just looks like a box of wax paper, but it's actually wax paper with the homemade fondant candy that Mark made for his bees. Cooked it himself, he did. Just a little something to tide them over.

I tell ya, the first hive we bought was kind of just mine. Just to have. To play with and learn about. But Mark soon took over bee duties and has expanded it beyond what I could have foreseen a few short years ago. He know so much stuff that I don't even know what he knows.

Like he knows (but will say that he has so, so much more to learn) that feeding this straight candy now versus pollen patties that he'll feed later will hopefully set the bees up for good timing of brood production and therefore honey production. There's more to it than that, but that's all I can remember from what he explained.

I was too busy watching TV to listen.


Emily said...

Your intense negative energy is a bit bombarding. See, that's why you should watch HOCKEY!!!!!!

Sara said...

Sure. Criticize the basketcase.

I'm telling!!!!

Becky said...

Yes, television is a wasteland. Except for 30 Rock and the Big Loves that I illegally downloaded, and soon, LOST. Woohoo! I love your take on the shows.

Michele R said...

At least you got to see Modern Family. It is our new Fave over here. Got to see the premiere they repeated on Wed night plus the one you saw at 9:00. Last summer when I was home alone for a week I had to call the 3rd grader to explain how to watch a dvd on the TV. Everyone on that show has fantastic lines.
Want some candy, little girl? Your description was much more scientific. Anyway, candy works for me.

Annette said...

I've never seen any of those shows. And from your glowing reviews, I probably won't make an effort to, either. LOL!

By the way, Ray did the same thing with his mom's TV and the multiple remotes while he was visiting the other night.

Dave said...

I continue to be impressed by your beekeeping. Hmm, I wonder if my landlord would let me have a hive in my high-rise apartment. They could fly around pollinating people's potted plants.

honeypiehorse said...

AW I love old Newhart reruns. And how many people cook candy for their bees?

Veronica said...

At least you stuck mostly with the dramas--it is the laugh track on sitcoms that pushes me over the edge!

Amy said...

I've never heard of "Modern Family". Maybe it'll make its way over here eventually.

And I so hear you on the telethon type stuff. I think it's important to give to the church but those people often step way, way over the line and can be really manipulative. I bet the smiley girl's cheeks were just aching! ;)