Thursday, June 25, 2009

Your Chariot Awaits, M'Lady

I had to drive Mark's van to work yesterday so it could go into the shop across from my office.Mark is notorious for letting his vehicles deteriorate beyond what is safe or bearable to drive. He just doesn't notice that there aren't any brakes or the steering wheel is crazy loose or that parts are falling off.
The van is his 'good' vehicle. It was manufactured in this decade and I'm not afraid to drive it. Trouble is my 10 minute morning commute is very important to me. It's prep time, you know? In my own vehicle I listen to my music, sing along, drink my coffee, sometimes open the sun roof. I drive past lovely farms including the one with the painted ponies who have baby painted ponies every Spring. I can see what the temperature is outside and adjust my seat however I like. (Why am I so addicted to knowing what the temperature is while I drive? ) It usually smells good in my car and it's a pretty quiet ride.
Mark's van? Firstly, it's giant. A giant tin can with a V8 engine. Now I don't specifically know what a V8 engine is, I just know it feels like I'm driving a tractor trailer. It smells in there. Like slightly off produce. Kind of like a cantaloupe. And it's noisy because it is just an uninsulated tin can on wheels. (The acoustics are actually pretty awesome for singing though.) But the worst part of all is that it has no CD player.
Because Mark is in training to become the world's youngest Old Guy he mainly listens to local AM talk radio so he's perfectly fine with it. I had to scramble yesterday morning to get my current music onto my goonie MP3 player. The music is the most important part of the ride.
Everything worked out, including my executive decision to put new tires on the van without consulting Mark first. I told him so when I got home and he said he might cry when I told him how much it all cost, that he could've made it to Winter on those old tires. He told me he was the CEO of 'the company.' And I said that doesn't stand for Cheap Executive Officer, the van needed tires. Hardy Har Har.
This is Mark's other vehicle. The Farm Truck. (Don't mind all that clutter up on the deck, or the un-mowed grass/weeds, or clutter by the cellar door. I'm gettin' to it.)I'm not sure how many incarnations we've had of the farm truck, but I do know we've had many red ones, a brown one, and a blue one at the very least. I remember one truck that was growing cucumbers in the debris in its bed. They're always standard transmission and they always start out running pretty normally.
Currently, this bad boy has so many things going on that I won't bother to list them. Pops and I pretty much refuse to drive it. Neither he nor I can get the damned driver's door to close. When you open it, it just slumps on its hinges. Again, Mark barely notices any of these things. He loves his trucks unconditionally. Even when all the local mechanics tell him to never, ever bring it back to their shop.
I'm just glad I finally got Mark to park it behind the house. And sorry, no, it's not for sale.


Emily said...

I am also a compulsive temperature checker in the car. I get bent out of shape when I have to drive the dirt truck. Also, you say don't pay attention to the debris, unmowed grass, etc. I still didn't see it after you mentioned it. However, I'm positive I would have said the same thing. Most people probably don't notice the clutter you know is there. Kind of like the giant zit on my chin.

honeypiehorse said...

So many comments I could make, how to choose. . . I think I'll settle for I always cry when i see how much new tires cost, too.

Michelle Johnson said...

I don't know that I could drive a vehicle without some kind of music player in it. And, I would go crazy if I had to listen to AM radio. Thank God for iPods. My husband loves to fix our problems as they arise. I am much like your husband not noticing the things that are wrong with a car. When I do finally manage to mention it to John he gets after me. I say smile and say, "Oh well."

Have a great day.

Michele Renee said...

Have you had any recalls on the Fords? Just askin cuz ours was one that did and we had a big problem that I blogged about.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I love your cat's paws!
Happy Birthday on the 20th--mine was the 18th.

Coffee with Cathy said...

My husband's truck lost the tailgate -- something about a sharp right turn. Thank goodness he never lets me drive it, anyway! Thanks for sharing such a great story.

Anonymous said...

My husband became only moderately annoyed when the door latch on his car broke and one literally had to reach in from the rear door and open the front one, no minor feat of stretching and maneuvering, I tell you. I can only imagine that if we had a farm, he would fully embrace the Farm Truck.

And I'm with Emily, I had to scroll back up to look at the items detailed in the photo. Funny thing, how we always notice our own mess, eh?

Except in the case of your husband & his vehicles, that is :)

OsageBluffquilter said...

Hey Mark, we are with you guy! We listen to talk radio all the time.
(BT wanted me to let you know that)

Jen said...

My dad was exactly the same! Right down to listening to talk radio (though I have to admit that I listen to talk radio ALL THE TIME) My dad only drove GMC trucks and they had to be 1985 or older (he swore that's when they made the best trucks).

Annette said...

I'll be chuckling over the Cheap Executive Officer comment all day.

And that truck of Mark's is scary.

Ray listens to Car Talk on Public Radio. The rest of the time I think he at least listens to FM.