Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Here's what my poor husband called to tell me this morning (with his good friend laughing hysterically in the background at this ongoing saga):

Shortly after he arrived a half hour late, the "Carpenter" (because he has been demoted from being a real Carpenter in my eyes) launched into a paroxysm of thunderous, hacking coughs and with a wheezy cry of 'heart attack!' stumbled out the door and fell to our porch onto his back like an emphysematic turtle. Mark, in no way convinced there was anything wrong with him (it is not uncommon for him to have crazy loud coughing fits,) nonchalantly asked him if he'd like for an ambulance to be summoned.
I don't know what the guy's response was, but no ambulance was required, and when Mark and the Anti-Carpenter went on a supply run to the hardware store, I guess he was quite ambulatory and downright sprightly. Or spritely? As in muss up everything he touches like some evil little creature?

And here I am all out of strawberry wine.


Becky said...

How much would that guy charge to promise never to come back again?

honeypiehorse said...

So, not only does he kind of suck, he also thinks slapstick humor is funny while he's getting paid by the hour. But there's always strawberry wine to console you.

Annette said...

Mark should have jumped on him and started doing CPR. After receiving a couple of broken ribs in the resusitation effort, the guy might have decided he doesn't WANT to work for you psychos anymore.

I think you're just way too nice to him. You need to think up ways to get him to run, screaming, from the premises. At the very least, plotting the caper would be an entertaining way to spend a day.

Camp Papa said...

Maybe it's not my place to say, but I think you may need more than strawberry wine. At least, I know it wouldn't get the job done for me. I'd need something derived from a grain crop...say corn or rye.

Amy said...

Wow, he sounds like a total nutcase! least it's providing interesting blog topics? And developing patience and forbearance.